#i will just load into situations.
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an average day in gw2
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I know there’s a lot of people talking about the culture conflict between Toshiro and Laios, but I think it’s important to acknowledge the class conflict between them too. Mayor’s child or not, Laios is still from the boonies, while Toshiro is waited on hand and foot by a flock of women his family employs to serve his needs. This has 100% stifled Toshiro’s ability to communicate with others, to the point where acknowledging his retainers and thanking them for their efforts is shown as a huge point of growth.
Meanwhile, Laios’s bumbling nature towards Toshiro’s boundaries is very much informed by his lack of knowledge of other people and places. He knows how much it hurt him to see his sister rejected by people whose insular attitudes made her powers frightening to them, so he tries to express overtures of friendship towards Toshiro by being so interested in him that it comes off as frightening instead. While he means well, his lack of knowledge on how to interact with people who are different from him puts Toshiro in a weird spot, and this lack of knowledge isn’t just the autism — it’s where he was born and raised. And it’s something real kids from rural areas go through when they enter more urban spaces. The sorts of social manners that are appropriate there aren’t appropriate elsewhere, and they get seen as… well. Inelegant. Pushy.
If Laios had gotten Hien’s name wrong, she would have decked him. But because it was Toshiro, whose upbringing didn’t give him any conflict resolution skills (because he’s around people who have to bend to his needs*) he doesn’t know how to sort things out with Laios, and grows to resent him. It’s not just the culture, it’s the place he occupies class-wise.
That’s part of why I love Toshiro’s arc — if this was just a culture conflict where Laios commits microagressions against him, as I’ve mostly seen it put, him ultimately learning a lesson would be pretty weird. But it’s not. His upbringing as a noble lord’s son in a BONKERS family has given him certain issues… and Laios helps him confront that, so he can live without regrets.
(*please note, this is a massive oversimplification of what the hell is going on with Toshiro Nakamoto. i just didn't want to write a book.)
#dungeon meshi#toshiro nakamoto#laios touden#also I know that it’s partially because the anime hasn’t gotten there yet#but it’s really weird to me that the microagression conversation is around toshiro and laios#when nothing has suggested the dm world has any real concept of whiteness or white colonialism#laios doesn’t have inherent social power and the reason toshiro doesn’t correct him isn’t because Laios’s whiteness puts him in danger#not that i don't think these differences are worth talking about it's just a lot of the conversation seems to be really loaded#in ways they... aren't in the story????? and also i think strips away some of toshiro's unique situation#there IS a character laios is extremely weird towards that fits that criteria though#and I’m curious how people will respond to that
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I WAS WONDERING WHY MY FILE TOOK SO LONG TO LOAD HOW DID THAT HAPPEN BRO???!! 😭
#i tried to create as few layers as possible!!#i really did!!!#wtf bro what is that 😭#aaaaaaah#the thing is#to avoid this exact situation (it already happened before) i *did* make different files#i know that i have a tendency to use a bit too many layers#so i separated the animatic in 8 different files#those 963 layers are only the fifth file#i really did try to not make too many layers in a singular file but this still happened halp halp halp#not to make it worse but by opening the file i expected smt around 45 layers#then i found the long loading time sus and checked#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH#while making the Discword animatic about The Light Fantastic the file was so heavy that it refused to save 9 times out of 10#so i just let my laptop on. hoping that it wouldn't ever ever crash and erase my progress#which is why i separated the animatic im working on rn into multiple files instead aiuhigujheikgjhurju#man...#rambling
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Somehow managed a great "tails gets trolled" face for rick from this comic I made at work.
Minnie's trying to prove that rick was just as much of a 14yr old back then as morty is now
#rick sanchez#rick and morty oc#art#my art#comic#minnie#rick#yeah minnie refers to ricks dad as papa#he called her house that night bc rick wouldnt come out of his room for dinner and he wanted to know what happened#and when minnie told him he laughed 😔#minnies got TONS of these stories locked and loaded for when rick pisses her off or talks down to the kids in a way she doesnt like#this is one of those scenes that has been rattling around in my head for forever and only just got put on paper lol#oh and pardon the colecanth doodle lol#right after i posted this on twitter i found a wasp on my room 🫠#god i hope ive got the wasp situation under control now :( they were living in my walls last year#but hopefully this one just got in through my bathroom vent
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as of ten minutes ago we are officially Jobless™️. my sign to retire early and devote the remainder of my existence to writing toxic old man yaoi
#pennforyourthoughts#personal#someone rb this with silly tags i feel it deserves some levity#warning: novel-length tags lmfao#THEY TOLD ME TODAY MY LAST DAY IS FRIDAY? that's only two whole workdays for me HELLO??#knew it was coming bc they let my friend go two weeks ago and he had more seniority than me but jfc#at least let me ride out the contract till november. WHY. i JUST went back to uni i need money goddamn it#full disclosure tho i haven't been able to stop laughing bc so much of the surrounding circumstances are insanely funny to me#1) i was LITERALLY at a job fair yesterday and I almost considered not going bc I was so damn tired#surprisingly made some really great connections so ty universe now i have people to poke in the coming months#2) i switched from part time to ft course load at the last second and have been regretting it ever since but if im to be unemployed then#MAYBE now I can actually handle the uni workload :D#3) when my boss called me she asked how ive been and i told her i was sooo sick last week and got into a car accident#that same day omw back from uni (universal karma for skipping class for my health ig)#THE WAY SHE PAUSED ON CALL IS SO FUNNY IN RETROSPECT. was prolly thinking fuck. now i have to add to this#she literally went “omg im so sorry...anyways i have bad news”#im not even lying when i say i was GIGGLING through that whole call she was so concerned#love her bc she genuinely tried to fight for me and is the reason i wasn't let go two weeks ago but man. the timing is impeccable#also don't think i get any unemployment benefits bc i was temp contract and my situation as a whole is a bit complicated so YAY :DDD#the way i ran to my bestie to spill the tea & we're over here like 🤝 fired buddies 🤝 time to speed run job interviews while juggling uni
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personally i think sirius should live with james, lily and hari.
#remus too. but i think it'd take a lot of persuasion with hari living there. like he'd think he shouldn't because he'd be dangering a baby#or some shit like that.#but in the end that man does whatever sirius wants. and sirius wants to live with his family and his boyfriend#(peter would too but he hates living with loads of people/full houses cause of how he grew up)#<- same with marlene and dorcas but rather that they don't want to be around sirius and james 24/7 and don't like kids#also just realised this is very much a no-war situation so mary is still around. so i think she'd rather live with emmeline#like she'd def be visiting all the time. but she's so living in brighton with emmeline#is that everyone?? did i say everyone?? idk hopefully i did.#marauders era#marauders#sirius black#james potter#lily evans#hari potter#jily
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Some other Manis I forgot about (I got too self-conscious to post)
#just. concepts. hashing out dynamics.#in my head i think it's EXTREMELY funny. to reframe self-harm into there is another version of 'you'#and that version of 'you' is going to Literally Beat The Ever Living Daylight Out Of You (like You for real)#also the second doodle i need to rb the post it's in my drafts on my second blog but#i was SPECIFICALLY. THINKING. of that one slenderman post that goes 'motherfucker i will Kill You#if you so much LOOK at My Pages' LIKE .... MANI IS EXACTLY LIKE THAT.#says one thing. does the complete fucking opposite.#somehow in my brain the green m&m post and the collect my pages (i will fucking kill you if you touch my pages) post#just crossed wires. that became integral mani characterization.#i think. the biggest takeaway here. is when faced w moe mani is way more overtly aggressive and violent#but when face w alfonse esp when they're on 'friendly' terms. it's just fucking w him.#it's putting him in a stupid and gay maze. making him perform an incomprehensible ritual in an absurd situation.#i say 'gay' in reference to another post but. i think the key here is actually. the incomprehensible rituals#are indicative of normative gender roles/expectations in tandem w sexuality/amatonormativity#mani is. so many things. load bearing complete fucking asshole.#mani tag#moe tag#my art#no maintags. get that thang in containtment RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!
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ive bought more pins for my board to keep track of the asks :D
but if i run out of space on the board, then i'm.
imma have to shut down the askbox until the numbers go down a bit... OTL
#im working on the next set of responses right now#tumblr does a thing where older asks disappears indefinitely bcs of the number of recent asks#i can still grab them if they're by a person but the anonymous ones are gonezo forever </3#ive avoided this situation so far by just. never ever EVER closing the inbox tab#but eventually imma have to do a big ol flush via spamming a shit load of art and responses with the box closed n then open it again quickl
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In line with the post I made of all the funny stuff to look forward to in the story, here’s some of the…less funny stuff that will happen over the course of the story. Because I love angst, and I didn’t hold back on trying to think of how some things might go realistically
- The riders dealing with all their enemies with no Berk to fall back to, Berk itself sometimes being one of those enemies
- The guilt, pain and trauma for all the riders that comes with Ant losing his leg
- Dragon training sessions on Berk going horribly wrong
- Kaiko and Will watching their thought-to-be-dead son go through everything he does, unable to change any of it (as this story is written in a ‘the characters watch their own show’ style)
- Ant having episodes where he can’t talk due to being selectively mute, because of his treatment of Berk, and the other riders and even Toothless having to learn how to help him through it
- The riders being captured and interrogated/tortured by Dragon Trappers
- The Dragon Fighting ring in RTTE being a more widespread operation
- Diving further into how the Red Death affected the dragons in her nest, and making the scene where Hiccup and Astrid (Ant and Kari here) find the nest worse
- Dragons and humans having panic/anxiety attacks
- The riders having to learn how to fight enemies outside of the ring on the fly (sometimes literally, because dragons) and not being the best at it in the beginning
- Ant being the village scapegoat due to not being white, and having no blood family on Berk to back him up, and all the internal issues that come to be because of that
- Gobber and Gothi, while being the primary caretakers of Ant who cared for him, not being perfect anyways, and still messing up in some ways
- Situations, characters, and character dynamics being complicated and messy
- No one region or faction of the world being ‘perfect’ or ‘good’ or even ‘bad’. Everyone has problems, and everyone handles them differently
- Snotlout, the twins, and Fishlegs trying to be ‘adults’ for Kari and Ant, because there’s no one else to help them in the beginning, but still struggling in some ways because they themselves are still kids who want an adult to help
- Characters having complicated family dynamics, with some parents not being perfect, and with some of the riders still missing their own parents and families, while also knowing that those very people are part of what drove them away to begin with
- Some characters, while coming to an understanding and acknowledging that the other has changed, not reconciling and becoming best friends, or even friends by the end of the story
- Not every enemy is redeemed. At least one character that isn’t an enemy in the films is, and they are not redeemed at the end
#i really play into people and situations not being what they initially appear on the surface#for better of for worse#I’ve put a whole legend and a half into explaining how things got the way they did in the Archipelago#like. as far back as explaining how the Red Death even got there in the first place#astrid and heather who are both antagonists in the beginning are just kids who are learning and growing#even some adults like Stoick go on a journey of relearning everything they know#and the riders are KIDS. trying to survive on their own#they’re exiled RIGHT BEFORE winter starts. a winter named ‘Devastating Winter’#they’re learning as they go it’s not going to be pretty#there’s some room for imagination#it’s a story with dragons in it#but I still load on the angst#the deep 2015#the deep cartoon#httyd#HTTYD/The Deep crossover
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Playing thought a lot of IFs recently (it's a problem) and I love the Fallen Hero serie way too much for my own good. Really got everything I could crave in a narrative frfr.
Anyway, all this to say that I love the Rat King. Favorite little manmade horror/scientific experiment/lil guy in fiction.
#ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ#interactive fiction#if you see this on your dash… hi I guess?#fallen hero#ranting#replaying Rebirth and I just had to get it out once I got to the auction heist#love the little nuances between playthroughs#and this new playthrough is not even that different from my first#just mainly changed the heartbreak scar and my personnal and motivation and goal#still a a hopeless fan of fem Ortega as an ex to fem mc (and all the associated drama)#this second playthrough is really just an elaborate way to put her and my mc in as much angst and pain as possible#no but like can we talk how funny it is to have Ortega date two people#but they are actually both the mc who can't commit as either due to their insecurities and (very legitimate) fears#why would I wan't to focus on any other ROs when you can have this kind of situation?????#(tho I am trying to have as much platonic interactions with Steel this time)#I thank the Lord (script injection)#to have granted me the strenght (the ability of saving and loading)#to overcome the hardships put before me (ChoiceScript horrible replayability)
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I’m making a psychonauts age swap au, as one does, and my brain keeps deciding that lili raz and dogen are all in love and I’m pretty sure this is your fault
that's just how it happens!! these three have a memetic quality. they're a bit like cordyceps, to me
#ALWAYS so delighted to get asks like this. we got another one boys#they just have a dynamic that i keep coming back to. i think there are so many different angles to poke at it from#enjoy the au building!! i find that kind of stuff such a fun sandbox to play in#taking elements of a setting or a character you like - and recontextualising them#putting them in a different situation and changing their lived experiences and asking - so who does that make you now?#and then when you make one decision or one change you get to see how that affects a load of other stuff#and explore the way the butterfly effect ripples through#what was familiar is now fresh and exciting again!#it's a good time#ask
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(About hunger au) Thinking about the gift fic Divergency you got from Raichett and rotating how it meshes with the current story
Thinking about how Grian could be doing this at least a little due to the guilt he has from being born the way he was
He didn't have a choice but to kill and cause pain when he was born and now he's using his control over his life to cause pain to himself and die. Oughhh
Raichett's fic is so near and dear to my heart, i'll never get over how incredible it was to receive that. Frankly, its canon to me-- that is exactly how it went for poor Grian. And the circumstances around his birth as a Watcher were so objectively tragic... i think the guilt honest to gods just eats him up inside. In his head he's sorta mentally separated them into the Good (past) Grian and then Himself (aka the Bad Grian), and now he just feels this constant weight about killing that original version of him. I think what he's doing now definitely has that desperate bid to atone in it, and not just for hurting his friends, but for killing Player!Grian as well.
Its genuinely heartbreaking tbh, like i know im the one doing this to him but i feel for him so badly about this in particular, because its such a horrible thing to be convinced you're a monster for something you had literally no control over at birth
#shouting speaks#asks#hunger au#he is 100% doing this to punish himself#[pulls the thread of load-bearing grian neuroses] my gods theres self-flagellation in there#anyway all this to say u are so fucking right anon like u are right on the money#and it's also so deeply about control too#grian has had no control over his situation since he was born a watcher and this is him exerting a TINY bit of it#<- which is smth i plan to explore more in the fic btw. we understand why he's getting dragged back to HC ofc#but that doesnt mean there aren't lasting consequences about it for all parties#the last time grian felt trapped and confined was with the watchers. so theres some trauma there to be explored#just smth to let you guys simmer on... :)#thanks for sending this anon im always weeping over hunger grian's neuroses over here#txt
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I haven’t been insane about Vi enough lately so time to pour out some random thoughts. free association thinking time:
been thinking about her “It's my savings. I wanna be rich, okay? So I can travel, eat well, buy cool stuff… So no one can say I can't do something!” And none of the following will really be insightful or revelatory because it’s just what she says here but. yeah! that’s vi! the main reason she’s so big on money is because she has to be to get what she wants out of life! it’s what lets her say no to people telling her what to do, and that’s important to her because she has no choice but to be independent and support herself. because no one else will. No one at the Hive had anything positive or supportive to say about her being an explorer until she went out and did it (to a ridiculously successful degree, too. I have to wonder if/how it might’ve differed if she was on a regular accomplishment level team. not the one leading them all to the mission to the Hive). she never had a choice not to be. I could also see that being a little part of why she starts out not really being a teamwork person. past experiences have taught her she can’t rely on anyone else for support. (does make me wonder about what if she’d met Chubee before leaving the Hive. obviously she still would’ve left, but how might even a bit of support have changed other things?)
I feel like we don’t talk about the fact that The Beemerang Is Also Knives enough
ok so at one point there was this post talking about people with money and how it affects their life like. if you can afford to get a nanny then you can only do the fun parts of childcare and when you stop feeling like taking care of the kid you can just hand them to someone else to take them away. and again likely not especially revelatory but I would guess that’s the kind of way queen bianca handled the bees as her daughters (she does care about them. absolutely. but not in the same hands-on attached way as we usually associate with parents) and thinking about how that kind of treatment would then apply to vi....hm
in universes where discussions of Gender and Pronouns etc happen I think she has moments where she gets frustrated with the everything of Being Referred To and Having Complicated Identity She Hasn’t Quite Figured Yet and is like. gender is cancelled how dare you refer to me. but especially anyone else calls me a girl ever i will be stabbing them
also I think a lot about what circumstances she finds out about gayness/Gender being things. and whether she’s thought about it in herself before and whether she’d been dismissed on it/told it wasn’t a thing etc. most circumstances she ends up angry about the finding out times because of (un)consicious internal conflict stuff
underground tavern stuff implies she was definitely doing quests and stuff for money with them precanon. would kill to know what specifically it was. but also the first talk with utter implies that she was doing stuff off that questboard as well which is even more intriguing. utter’s spy also implies you don’t have to be an explorer to do them but otherwise you would think you did I feel. so again very curious what was up there
#inspired by that girl blorbos post and also me trying to think about where in the game they drop facts and such about precanon stuff w her#the urge to try and fic about the stuff between her leaving the hive and showing up at the association....strong again#'the hive didn't do anything' my ass. vi might have also been a jerk but it's just that she was the more obvious#easily labeled incident version of it. she was active while her treatment was the subtle passive neglect type of bad treatment#complex situation and also. yeah#an aquila original#vi bug fables#bug fables#also featuring funky gender lesbian stuff because thats not even headcanon. to me#hopefully the reasoning out stuff doesn't just come out like a load of nonsense#vi's one of those characters where I definitely feel comfortable in writing her on a basic level but some parts I'm super insecure about#and the part with her is in really capturing the complexities of her backstory and family issues#and the thing is it's like. I have to remind myself that some parts of how canon did her on that are actually decent#and I should pay attention to those complexities. but then also canon definitely did some of their 'this hasn't really been earned'#resolution stuff on her. mostly thinking about the postcanon dialogue with Bianca. it's jsut too much of a jump for that for me#and it's not even that I necessarily think bianca's dialogue is out of character. it's that I'm contemplating whether it would've#made more sense for vi to get angry about it. like.#ok so. sometimes i think about what coming out to my family might be like. and I've come to the conclusion that if they were just accepting#despite the fact that it would be best case scenario I'd be angry about it. because they've said some shitty stuff in the past. in general#they've made me feel unsafe about myself. so no actually you don't get to just suddenly be chill about it now fuck you.#it doesn't change the past hurts#and I could see Vi being like that too. even if part of her is happy about getting what she wanted to start with she's pissed about#only getting it now. with a side helping of also wondering if the approval /now/ is only because she's been so successful about it#what if she hadn't been so specially favored by elizant? what if she hadn't been on the team that saved the world? why did she (maybe) have#to earn the approval she should've had from the start?#also not gonna get into this one right now but tweaking her story with jaune to acknowledge that theyre both at fault in different ways#(again). would be nice#but now I'm definitely veering into repeating myself type rambling territory so
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Holy shit it’s gonna be alright. My parents want a diplomatic, CIVILIZED meeting almost akin to a peace treaty, to occur in a few days.
Yes yes yes yes
#exjw#ex cult#I hadn’t anticipated exactly how much I had leveled the playing field when I became an adult and got myself THREE reputable jobs#I went into that conversation verbally loaded for bear and prepared to run to the hospital for asylum if things got ugly#They didn’t even ask me questions yet; they just said they’re prepared to hear me out and make changes#It’s wild how differently they’re treating me now vs. when I was sixteen#They’re more scared of what I’ll do than I am of what they’ll do. I’ve never had it like this before#Not that fear is good… but it feels much better to be in this kind of situation with some control and agency#It feels good to have power; and I will not abuse that power to needlessly make them feel worse than they need to#because I am better than they were four years ago
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immmm writing ram's trigger event. this drunken college kid russian roulette is getting a lil homoerotic
#whats gayer than letting ur homie adjust ur grip on a loaded gun and hold it to ur head and show you how to pull back the hammer and fire#whats gayer than that. honestly#i feel so bad that i threw this random character in just to die ive grown attached 2 him#he and ram kissed too which is honestly less gay than whatever's happening rn tbh#i feel. SO BAD abt rams trigger event#bc yeah ive got it so the other greats have had someone die but ram is like. Involved in it. directly. hes There#absolutely horrifying situation to be in!!!!#whiskey yelling into the void
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actually feeling so dead high school model un is now OVER! KHALAS!
#🐫#ngl it was really fun :3 being assistant chair was fun save for the fact that i hate not being in control of situations in general#gonna apply to be either a chair or on the secretariat for next year inshallah for real i hate being someone's assistant#like someone assigning you something is different from being bossed around yk. and i feel like 3 on the dias instead of like 1 or 2 is alot#like it couldve been more efficient if it were just 1 ad and one director#some mishaps regarding editing i think i wanna ask my prof about that tmrw. dont really know how to edit resolutions#didnt work this week my paycheck will be weak but that's fine alhamdullilah#conference tradition to go to the shisha lounge near the school and let me tell you. loaded fries for 14 dollar and that fed like 4 people.#subhanallah ...#didn't work out this week either but im so tired and i got to 10k steps today and yesterday so yay#exam tmrw -_- alhamdullilah in any case#overall 2day was good me personally i'd gavel the kids down if they looked at me funny but that's alr#arab league in jan 😘😽
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